CELPIP Writing Task 2: Responding to Survey Questions

This is a clear, well-organized survey response with a strong position and developed reasons. You address both options, support your choice with relevant details, and end with a solid conclusion.

What You Did Well:

• "I firmly believe the committee should turn the party room into a shared workspace." - your choice is stated immediately and leaves no doubt.
• "Most units in our building are one-bedroom apartments" - this is a concrete detail that makes your first reason feel realistic.
• "it could only be used for four or five months a year in Ottawa" - this comparison shows good judgment and helps develop your argument.
• "For these reasons, I think the workspace is the better investment." - the conclusion clearly restates your opinion.

What to Work On:

• Depth of development:

✗ YOU WROTE: "A quiet room with proper desks and fast Wi-Fi would make their days more productive and help them separate work from home life."

✓ BETTER: Add one more specific example of how the workspace would be used, such as by remote workers taking video calls or students finishing assignments.

→ Why: Your ideas are clear, but the support is still somewhat general. Level 10 needs a wider range of facts, descriptions, or details.

• Comparison detail:

✗ YOU WROTE: "while the cost of soil, water and maintenance is shared by everyone."

✓ BETTER: Explain why that cost makes the garden less practical for most residents, such as by noting that only a few people would use the planters regularly.

→ Why: The comparison is relevant, but it could be more fully developed.

To Reach 10/12:

• Add one or two more concrete details to each main reason so your support becomes a broader range of facts and examples.
• Make the comparison between the two options slightly more specific, not just logical.

Next Steps:

• When you choose an option, ask yourself: “What is one real-life example that proves this?”
• Practice turning one good reason into two layers of support: a general benefit plus a concrete situation.

Your vocabulary is clear and appropriate, with some good context-specific phrases, but it stays mostly in the common range. The wording communicates your ideas well, though it does not yet reach the more precise level expected for a 9+.

What You Did Well:

• "shared workspace" - this is topic-specific and fits the survey prompt naturally.
• "fast Wi-Fi" - concise, relevant wording that matches the situation.
• "better investment" - a strong phrase that gives your opinion a persuasive tone.

What to Work On:

• More precise descriptive language:

✗ YOU WROTE: "A quiet room"

✓ BETTER: "a quiet, dedicated workspace"

→ Why: This is more exact and sounds more purposeful.

• More specific comparison language:

✗ YOU WROTE: "a small group of residents enjoys it"

✓ BETTER: "only a handful of residents would use it regularly"

→ Why: This is sharper and more natural.

• More varied persuasive vocabulary:

✗ YOU WROTE: "better investment"

✓ BETTER: "more practical investment"

→ Why: This keeps the meaning but adds a more precise judgment.

To Reach 9/12:

• Use a few more precise nouns and adjectives instead of relying on broad, common wording.
• Add one or two stronger comparison phrases to make your argument sound more deliberate.

Next Steps:

• Replace general words like "good," "better," and "lovely" with more exact choices such as practical, efficient, useful, or beneficial when they fit naturally.
• Build a small list of topic-specific phrases for housing, work, and community topics.

GRAMMAR & LANGUAGE:

Found 0 language issues - no grammar, spelling, or punctuation errors.

STYLE & SENTENCE VARIETY:

Consider: "The main reason is that many residents now work from home for at least part of the week." → "One major reason is that many residents now work from home for part of the week." (slightly tighter phrasing)

Consider: "A workspace, on the other hand, would be open every day of the year to anyone who lives here." → "By contrast, a workspace would be available every day of the year to every resident." (more varied transition)

PARAGRAPH STRUCTURE & TRANSITIONS:

You use clear paragraph breaks, and the response is easy to follow from introduction to conclusion. The transition "Although" shows good control of contrast, and "on the other hand" helps connect your comparison smoothly. Sentence structures are mostly varied, with a mix of simple and complex sentences.

What You Did Well:

• "I firmly believe the committee should turn the party room into a shared workspace." - effective opening that sets the purpose immediately.
• "Although a rooftop garden sounds lovely" - this is a strong contrast marker that improves flow.
• "For these reasons, I think the workspace is the better investment." - a clear concluding sentence that closes the response well.

What to Work On:

• Sentence variety:

You already have good control, but adding one more varied sentence pattern would make the response sound even more polished.

• Transition precision:

The ideas connect well, but one or two more varied connectors would make the flow slightly stronger.

To Reach 10/12:

• Add one more varied sentence structure, such as a sentence beginning with a participle or a relative clause.
• Use one additional transition that shows contrast or emphasis without repeating the same pattern.

Next Steps:

• Practice combining two related short sentences into one smoother complex sentence.
• Try rewriting one paragraph using a different transition style to make your flow more flexible.

All task requirements are met. You clearly choose Option A at the start, give two developed reasons, acknowledge Option B, and finish with a concluding statement. The tone is persuasive and appropriate for a resident survey response, and the word count is within the 150-200 range.

What You Did Well:

• "I firmly believe the committee should turn the party room into a shared workspace." - clear choice stated immediately.
• "The main reason is that many residents now work from home" - directly answers the prompt with a relevant reason.
• "Although a rooftop garden sounds lovely" - you acknowledge the other option, which strengthens the argument.
• "For these reasons, I think the workspace is the better investment." - strong conclusion that restates your preference.

What to Work On:

• Add slightly fuller development to your reasons:

✗ YOU WROTE: "It would also give students a calm place to study during exams."

✓ BETTER: Add one more supporting detail showing how often or how many students would benefit.

→ Why: This would make the reason feel more complete and persuasive.

• Make the comparison a bit more specific:

✗ YOU WROTE: "it could only be used for four or five months a year in Ottawa"

✓ BETTER: Keep the seasonal point, but add why year-round access matters more to most residents.

→ Why: The comparison is good, but a slightly deeper explanation would make the argument stronger.

To Reach 10/12:

• Add one more concrete detail to each body paragraph so the support feels more fully developed.
• Strengthen the comparison by explaining why the workspace serves more residents more consistently.

Next Steps:

• Before writing, choose your side and plan one concrete example for each reason.
• End every survey response by briefly restating why your choice is the most practical one.